"An intimate relationship is a marriage of inner
lives,
not so much what you think in an obvious sense
but
rather the sub-structures of mental habits
and attitudes,
which give birth to those thoughts and
feelings."
Christopher Michaels
Questions are a great way to learn, to state the obvious. There are different ways they teach us. In the usual way the questioner gathers information on the subject being asked about. The less obvious way, if not equally important, then more important. When you are asked a question your mind is focused in particular, possibly new, directions in order to answer. If the questions are well directed the answerer may learn more than the questioner. This is why essays and assignments maybe more important in schools than lectures. The essence of science is the well asked question. This is as true of the mystery journey, as it is of therapy and management (in both business and public service). Of course the secondary questions, those sparked by the answers to the first questions asked, are of central importance too.
The warrior's way of asking is to use questions as traps, in order to close down the possible answers. She or he is looking for a particular answer, so as to fulfil his or her expectations or in order to teach a particularly focused lesson. This latter is one of the best aspects of the warrior's teaching approach. Later, in another part of the site, we will look at these in more detail. The lover asks open questions, which can allow free flowing dialogue, but can be loose and lack direction. Together the two make for the better approach to learning.
This questionnaire can offer us information about you, if you decide
to share it with us, but is actually targeted at giving you information
about us, what are we offering and in what way we focus. More importantly,
hopefully, it will give you insight into yourself, Tantra and, if you use
it as suggested below, your friends and lovers.
The best way to use this questionnaire is first and foremost to answer the questions honestly, then to ask your friends and lovers to answer it too. When you all get your responses and ratings then discuss your answers and results together. The areas of discussion are firstly, do they perceive you in the same way you see yourself, and vice versa. Do you agree with the ideas we have suggested need considering in our report on your answers. Our friends often see us quiet differently to the way we are aware of ourselves. They sometimes see through our blind spots, and us through theirs.
Even if you disagree with our ideas and observations exploring them, arguing with them, going behind what the questions are asking to the concepts and consequences is the exciting part.